Who Gets to Be an Expat? Rewriting the Rules of Who Belongs Abroad

A new narrative for global living—one that includes all of us.

👋🏽 Hey friends—Sonaya here.

If you’ve ever felt like the dream of moving abroad is something “other people” get to do, this one’s for you. Today we’re tearing up the old rulebook and reclaiming what an expat life really looks like.

Let’s talk about who gets to build a life beyond borders—and why it might just be you.

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Who Gets to Be an Expat?

There’s a funny thing that happens when I say we live abroad. People—especially back in the States—tilt their heads a little. As if trying to do the math.

A Black woman born in the Bronx. Two daughters. A husband. Living overseas?

How’d that happen?

Is she in the military?

Did she win the lottery?

Because even now, there’s this deeply baked-in myth that being an expat is only for the wealthy, the white, or the wildly adventurous.

But here’s the truth:

We moved abroad because of my husband’s job. Yes, we had a relocation package. Yes, that helped. But no, that didn’t erase the emotional leap it took to say yes.

At the time, we had an 8 month old baby. I was running a business. And while my daughters’ first language is English, we were suddenly surrounded by unfamiliar systems, foods, and customs—and figuring it all out, day by day.

The Myth: “Expat” Means Someone Else

We’ve all seen the stock photo version of an expat:

White. Wealthy. Wine on a terrace somewhere in Spain. Fluent in five languages. No kids, no complications.

That image? It’s not wrong. It’s just incomplete.

Where’s the teacher who moves for a better work-life balance?

The Black family that wants their kids to grow up globally?

The working couple who wants to slow down and live with intention?

That’s us too.

And we belong in this picture.

You Don’t Have to Be Special—You Just Have to Say Yes

I still speak with an American accent—although funny enough, people in the U.S. say I sound British now. That’s what happens when you’ve lived in three countries in less than a decade.

We’ve built routines, made friends, figured out grocery store hacks, and found joy in little things. My daughters speak English at school and at home, but they’re surrounded by new languages, perspectives, and ways of being.

That’s made them more curious, more open, and more resilient.

It’s done the same for me.

So… Who Gets to Be an Expat?

You do.

Whether you’re a single mom, a working couple, a grandparent, an entrepreneur, or someone just ready for a fresh start.

Whether you’re Black, white, Brown, Asian, or somewhere in between.

Whether you move with a company package or stitch it together step by step.

You don’t need to be rich.

You don’t need to be fearless.

You don’t need to explain yourself.

You just need to believe that your life can be bigger than the zip code you started in.

Because it can.

If no one around you has done it before—maybe that’s the exact reason you should.

This platform, Your Expat Life, exists to show what’s possible. To normalize global living for families who look like ours—and for anyone ready to write a new story.

So let me ask you:

What kind of life do you want to create?

And where in the world do you want to do it?

I’d love to hear your answer. Drop a comment, or just whisper it to yourself for now.

Either way—you’re not alone.

You’re not behind.

You’re just right on time.

Let’s build this life—together.