What No One Tells You About Moving Your Family Abroad
The Seasons of Expat Life
It was 3 AM in our temporary apartment in Doha on one of our first nights, and our daughter was crying about her favorite sleep toy—accidentally packed away in storage back in London. Six suitcases—that's what our lives had condensed into. Looking around our temporary hotel housing, the weight of every decision that led us here overwhelmed me.
Tomorrow would bring another day of juggling client calls across impossible time zones while trying to create a sense of normalcy for two girls whose entire world had just shifted. The constant sound of desert air conditioning and the early morning call to prayer had replaced the familiar hum of our London life.
"Mom, can we get bagels for breakfast?" The question from earlier that day echoed in my mind, a simple request that felt impossible to fulfill in our new reality.
This is the story of expat life that doesn't make it to Instagram. The raw, real, middle-of-the-night moments that every expat family faces. And if you're reading this in your own moment of doubt – know that you're not alone.
Beyond the Perfect Picture
I posted a photo of my girls laughing by the camels at Souq Waqif just yesterday. The comments poured in: "Living the dream!" "Your kids are so lucky!" "You make it look so easy!"
They didn't see our desperate search for familiar snacks in yet another grocery store, or how we're still hunting for those specific crackers the girls love. They didn't see me calculating time zones at midnight for client calls, or the adjustment to a school schedule that starts at 7 AM and ends before lunch – a complete upheaval of our London routine.
When Everything Changes At Once
Everything changes simultaneously.
Not just a new country – but new schools, new jobs, new home, new routines, all at once.
Picture this: You're trying to help your kids prepare for their first day at a new school while your partner heads to a new job. Meanwhile, you're creating a home from hotel rooms and juggling work calls across impossible time zones. Simple tasks like finding breakfast cereal your kids will eat become major victories.
This isn't just moving – it's pressing restart on every aspect of your family's life at the same time. But here's what else no one tells you: your family is more resilient than you think.
The First Season: Finding Our Feet (Month 1)
Moving two weeks before school started was one of the best decisions we made. While the girls adjusted to the new time zone (a feat in itself), I was juggling client calls at strange hours. Try explaining to an American client why I am not available at what feels like midnight while trying to find the right bagels for a homesick 8-year-old.
The school schedule here – 7 AM to 1:45 PM – felt bizarrely short after our London routine. Those first few weeks were a dance of readjusting everything we knew about daily rhythms. The morning rush came earlier, but suddenly, we had long afternoons to fill in a new city.
What's Normal in This Season:
Questioning every decision
Time zone exhaustion
Missing familiar comforts
Children's emotional ups and downs
Constant adaptation
The Little Things No One Warns You About
It's funny how the smallest things can feel the biggest. Standing in yet another grocery store, searching for familiar snacks, becoming increasingly aware of how much comfort food matters when everything else is new.
The Growth Season (Months 2-3)
Those first two months were a master class in adaptation. Time zones weren't just numbers on a clock – they were puzzles to solve every day:
When to schedule client calls without disrupting school runs
How to maintain business relationships across continents
Finding the right moment to FaceTime family back home
Creating new routines while honoring old ones
The Turning Point
People talk about settling in, but they rarely tell you what it actually feels like when it happens. For us, it was after our October trip back to London. Something about seeing our old life and then returning to our new one helped everything click into place. The loneliness that had been my constant companion started to fade as I found my tribe—other parents, other business owners, and other families creating their lives here.
Finding household help three times a week was another game-changer. Suddenly, I could focus on my business without feeling like I was dropping all the other balls I was juggling. The guilt of not doing it all slowly transformed into gratitude for having support.
What It Feels Like Now (Month 4 and Beyond)
The reality is that expat life moves in seasons.
Some days still feel challenging, but they're balanced by moments of pure joy and discovery:
Watching my girls confidently navigate their new world
Finding our rhythm with school, work, and family time
Building a community that feels like family
Creating new traditions while keeping old ones
Seeing our family grow stronger through challenges
The Truth About Making It Work
Here's what I wish someone had told me:
The hard parts are temporary
Finding your tribe changes everything
Support isn't a luxury – it's necessary
Your kids are more resilient than you think
It's okay if settling in takes time
Your Permission Slip
If you're in the middle of your expat journey or contemplating one, here's your permission slip:
It's okay if your version of settling in doesn't look Instagram-perfect
It's okay if your kids miss their favorite snacks
It's okay if you're calculating time zones on your fingers during business calls
It's okay if "home" takes a while to feel like home
It's okay to need help and support
The beauty of this journey isn't in doing it perfectly – it's in doing it together, one day at a time, creating a life that's uniquely yours.
Remember: The hardest season isn't forever. Every expat family you admire went through their own difficult transition. You're not failing – you're growing, adapting, and creating something beautiful for your family.