Two Weeks Vacation!? There's a Whole Other Way to Live
How questioning one 'normal' changed everything else
Have you ever defended something about American life by saying, "That's just how it is?"
I certainly have.
It was my automatic response when my British husband-to-be, Duane, looked genuinely shocked about the standard American vacation policy when you started a job.
"Only two weeks of vacation per year? How do Americans actually live?" he asked, completely confused.
I felt defensive. "That's just how it is here," I replied with a shrug.
Two weeks of vacation. Long working hours. The constant rush between commitments. The daycare bill that rivals your mortgage. The feeling that you're always running but never quite catching up.
That's just how it is... until you realize it isn't!
The One Question That Changed Everything
For me, the wake-up call came at Newark Airport. I had been running my own business, which gave me the flexibility to spend three weeks at a time in London building our relationship. The immigration officer flipped through my passport, eyebrows raised at all the UK entry stamps.
"Where do you actually live?" he asked.
That simple question stopped me in my tracks. I had been creating a different reality for myself without fully acknowledging it. My business had given me a freedom that most Americans don't experience—the ability to design my own schedule and work from anywhere.
This moment revealed a powerful truth: What we accept as "just how things are" is one possibility among many.
Duane was not interested in moving to America because of our work culture. The idea of restarting with only two weeks of vacation seemed absurd to him—and once I stepped outside the American bubble, I began to see his point.
Different Places, Different Normals
Consider this:
In Denmark, children spend most of their school day outdoors, even in winter, because it's considered essential for development
In many European countries, families receive substantial parental leave and affordable childcare as standard
In some Mediterranean cultures, the mid-day break is sacred family time, not just a quick sandwich at your desk
In Qatar, where I now live, families prioritize multi-generational gatherings in ways that reshape how work schedules function
None of these approaches is inherently right or wrong. They're simply different ways of organizing life, family, and priorities.
Here's a simple but powerful exercise to start unlearning the "that's just how it is" mindset:
Identify one "that's just how it is" belief you hold about your current life. Maybe it's about work hours, childcare arrangements, housing costs, or educational approaches.
Ask yourself: Is this a universal truth, or how things are done in my particular location/culture?
Research one place where this aspect of life is approached differently. You don't need to plan a move—simply expose yourself to alternatives.
Notice how it feels to recognize that what you've accepted as fixed might actually be flexible.
This isn't about immediately changing everything. It's about creating mental flexibility—the awareness that alternatives exist.
What Opens Up When You Let Go of "That's Just How It Is"
When you begin to question these assumed truths, something remarkable happens. Your mind opens to possibilities you previously couldn't see.
Maybe your family doesn't need to live with constant time pressure.
Maybe your career can accommodate your children's needs.
Maybe your lifestyle could look dramatically different than what you've been told is possible.
Knowing that there are other ways to structure life—other priorities, other systems, other approaches—gives you the freedom to question everything else you've accepted to be true.
Even if you never pack a suitcase, this awareness changes how you navigate your current life. You start asking different questions, making different requests, and considering previously unrealistic options.
Your First Step
Start small. Choose just one aspect of your life that feels fixed and unchangeable. Then, give yourself permission to research how this same aspect is handled in another country or culture.
This is not because you plan to leave tomorrow, but because understanding alternatives helps you see your current situation with fresh eyes.
Remember: The first step to creating options isn't packing boxes or applying for visas. It's simply expanding your belief about what's possible.
That's the beauty of having options. You don't need to use them to benefit from them. Just knowing they exist changes everything.
My name is Sonaya Williams. I've lived with my family in the US, UK, Denmark, and now Qatar. Through Your Expat Life, I help families create meaningful lives abroad. Questioning "that's just how it is" was the first step in my journey, and it can be the beginning of yours, too—wherever you choose to call home.
Loved reading this! It’s reassuring to start envisioning a different lifestyle for myself that’s about living and not just trying to catch up all the time.
Great post, Sonaya! I completely agree, moving and living abroad has helped me see the world in so many new and unique ways. It's been difficult, but oh so worth it!