Starting The Global Conversation

Real questions for real family talks about moving abroad

Having the Right Conversation at the Right Age

Why age-appropriate discussions matter when talking about moving abroad

Remember: Every age group needs three things:

1. To feel heard

2. To have their concerns validated

3. To be part of the solution

The key is not just having the conversation but having the right conversation in the right way for each age group.

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For Young Children (Ages 4-8)

Why This Age is Unique: At this age, children live in the present and thrive on routine. Their biggest concerns often center around their immediate world - friends, toys, and daily activities. Moving abroad can feel abstract and overwhelming unless we make it tangible and exciting.

Your Goal: Make the conversation magical rather than scary. Focus on the adventure and concrete details they can understand - their new room, local playgrounds, fun activities, and how their favorite toys will come along.

Make it Magical and Fun

Opening Questions:

• "If we could live anywhere in the world, where would you want to wake up tomorrow?"

• "What do you think kids in [country] do for fun?"

• "Want to look at some pictures of the coolest playgrounds in [city]?"

• "Did you know there are schools where kids make friends from all over the world?"

Follow-Up Questions:

• "What's your favorite thing about where we live now? Maybe we can find something similar in our new home!"

• "Which of your toys would you most want to bring on a big adventure?"

• "What new things would you like to learn in another country?"

• "Should we learn how to say 'hello' in our new language together?"

For Tweens (Ages 9-12)

Why This Age is Unique: Tweens are developing their independence and social connections are becoming increasingly important. They're old enough to understand the implications of a move but young enough to still be heavily influenced by their parents' enthusiasm.

Your Goal: Include them in the planning process and acknowledge their growing maturity. Focus on the exciting opportunities while validating their concerns about leaving friends and familiar activities behind.

Appeal to Their Growing Independence

Opening Questions:

• "Have you ever wondered what it would be like to have friends from different countries?"

• "What do you think would be the coolest thing about living in another country?"

• "Want to help me research what kids your age do for fun in [country]?"

• "Did you know that living abroad could mean learning two languages without even trying?"

Follow-Up Questions:

• "What would make moving to a new country feel exciting for you?"

• "Which of your hobbies would you want to continue in our new home?"

• "What new skills do you think you might learn living in another culture?"

• "How could we stay connected with your friends here while making new ones?"

For Teens (13+)

Why This Age is Unique: Teens are forming their identity and place in the world. Their social connections and future plans feel crucial. They have the cognitive ability to understand long-term benefits but may be resistant to changes that affect their social world and emerging independence.

Your Goal: Treat them as active participants in the decision-making process. Focus on how this move aligns with their future goals and how it could enhance their opportunities. Be genuine about challenges while highlighting the unique advantages.

Respect Their Voice and Concerns

Opening Questions:

• "What would you think if we had the opportunity to live abroad for a few years?"

• "How do you think international experience might help with your future goals?"

• "What would be your biggest concerns about moving to another country?"

• "Want to explore some international schools with me and see what they offer?"

Follow-Up Questions:

• "What would make this move feel like an opportunity rather than a disruption?"

• "How could we make sure you stay connected with your current friends?"

• "What activities or opportunities would you want to explore in [country]?"

• "How involved would you like to be in planning this potential move?"

For Partners/Spouses

Why This Conversation is Different: This is your co-pilot in the journey. They share equal stake in the decision and may have career, financial, and personal considerations that need addressing. Their enthusiasm (or lack thereof) will significantly impact the family's transition.

Your Goal: Create a space for open dialogue about dreams and concerns. Focus on how this move aligns with both partners' life goals and how you'll tackle challenges together.

Focus on Shared Dreams and Practical Concerns

Opening Questions:

• "Have you ever thought about what our life could look like in another country?"

• "What if we could give our family a different kind of life experience?"

• "What would your ideal work-life balance look like if we lived abroad?"

• "What aspects of international living appeal to you most?"

Follow-Up Questions:

• "What would need to be in place for you to feel confident about this move?"

• "How could this move align with your career goals?"

• "What concerns would you want us to address before considering this seriously?"

• "What timeline would feel comfortable for you to explore this possibility?"

For Extended Family

Why This Conversation Matters: They're part of your support system and their reaction can influence your family's adjustment. Distance from extended family is often one of the biggest emotional challenges of moving abroad.

Your Goal: Focus on maintaining connections and creating new ways to stay involved in each other's lives. Emphasize how technology and regular visits can keep relationships strong.

Emphasize Connection and Inclusion

Opening Questions:

• "How would you feel about us exploring opportunities to live abroad?"

• "What ideas do you have for staying closely connected if we lived in another country?"

• "Would you be interested in visiting us in [country] and exploring it together?"

• "How can we make sure you remain a big part of our lives even from afar?"

Conversation Tips:

1. Choose Your Timing:

   • Pick relaxed moments

   • Avoid stressful periods

   • Create casual, natural openings

   • Be patient with the process

2. Listen Actively:

   • Validate all feelings

   • Ask follow-up questions

   • Show genuine interest

   • Avoid dismissing concerns

3. Keep It Ongoing:

   • Return to the conversation naturally

   • Share new discoveries

   • Involve everyone in research

   • Celebrate small steps forward

4. Make It Interactive:

   • Look at pictures together

   • Watch videos of the location

   • Try local recipes

   • Learn basic phrases in the new language

Remember: The goal isn't to get an immediate "yes" but to start an open dialogue that allows everyone to process and participate in the journey.